


Trust In Me

by IceyChild



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: F/M, Mention of Potential Rape, No rape but just so no one gets uncomfortable I wanted to make sure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-30 16:01:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12656799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceyChild/pseuds/IceyChild
Summary: Lardo calls Shitty after a date she's on goes horribly wrong. He helps her heal in the following months.





	1. Chapter 1

Lardo first noticed something was wrong about 20 minutes into her date. The restaurant had previously felt fine, nicely air conditioned so it was cool but not chilly. Now she felt like she was trying to sweat out a fever. She snapped her head up looking for a vent or something near her that might explain the change in temperature, and she was immediately overcome with a dizzy spell. She took a deep breath and slowly turned back to her date, who was still talking despite her apparent lack of listening. She felt tired, hot and dizzy. Her eyes slowly moved from her date to her glass of wine.  
God dammit, the mother fucker roofied her.  
"I'm going to the bathroom" she said, cutting Preston off in what she hoped was mid sentence. Fuck him and his abstract mural.  
She managed to get to the bathroom without anymore dizziness. Once there she splashed some cold water on her face and locked herself in a stall. Grabbing her phone, she let her finger's dial the number they knew best by muscle memory; hell she'd probably have this number memorized for the rest of her life.  
"Lards! My darling what can I do you for?" the familiar voice answered after the first ring.  
"My date roofied me," she tried to enunciate every word in case she was starting to become sluggish. She had a brief window of time to get out of this situation properly and she wasn't going to waste it.  
On the other end of the line she heard the shattering of glass as Shitty dropped the beer he was holding.  
"Larissa, where are you?" Shitty's voice was no longer light or carefree. "I am going to come get you but I need to know where you are."  
"That wine and bistro place next to CVS, the one on Main St, you know," she replied, feeling herself becoming dizzy once more. "I'm in the bathroom, I can't drive, I can't go back out like this."  
"I'm on my way, do you want me to stay on the phone with you?" She heard the slamming of a car door and the thrum of an ignition.  
"Don't want you getting pulled over. I'll see you here," she said slowly while nodding to herself. This was a good idea. Shitty would probably speed over here anyways, the cell phone would only make it worse.  
"Ok Lards, I'm coming for you, just hang in there for a few minutes," Shitty's voice was strained and tight.  
"Ok, see you soon," Lardo half murmured into the phone. Fuck she felt so tired.  
She splashed more water on her face, but it was a temporary cure. She needed to get this damn rohypnol out of her system, but she didn't want to throw up in here and risk someone hearing her and thinking she was sick and offering her help or worse telling Preston.  
"Relax," she whispered to herself. "He's on his way"  
Her hands were clutching her cell phone so tightly that her knuckles were white. It felt like a year sitting there, checking her phone every ten seconds.  
When she felt like she was just going to take her chances and run, she heard a booming voice yell her name.  
"Lardo! Where are you?" Shitty called, pushing aside chairs and tables to get across the floor.  
Lardo stumbled once leaving the bathroom, but she didn't care. He was here and that was what mattered. Shitty ran up to her and quickly threw one of her arms across his shoulder so he could support her weight if need be.  
"Where is he?" Shitty asked, his eyes darting around.  
"Gray shirt," Lardo said, flinging her hand towards Preston's general direction.  
Shitty nodded curtly, and helped her shuffle towards the front desk.  
"Please watch her for a moment, I need to go deal with the fuckwad who tried to rape my best friend," he growled at the hostess.  
"Do you need me to call the police?" the hostess asked quietly, her eyes not moving from Shitty's retreating figure.  
"Nah, cause they'd probably arrest Shitty for that," Lardo slurred, her vision was slightly blurry around the edges but she could still make out Shitty's arm as it swung and his fist as it made direct contact with Preston's nose.  
"You think you're gonna get away with this?!" Shitty shouted, making all other conversations in the bistro come to an immediate halt. "You think it's okay to drug a girl and rape her?!"  
Preston was holding his gushing nose and shook his head wildly, "It's not like that! I-" he took a gasping breath "-I have a sister!"  
"First of all, you don't abstain from rape because you have a sister! You don't fucking rape people because it's fucking wrong! She's a person! A fucking person!" Shitty broke his glare to Preston for the briefest of moments and locked eyes with Lardo, who looked so small standing by the hostess, leaning onto the "please wait be seated" stand for support.  
"But since you're such a fucking 'nice guy' with a sister and all, I'll get to my second point," Shitty cracked his neck and lowered himself to Preston's eye level, "I'm gonna find your sister, your mom, your grandmother, aunts, cousins, nieces, female teachers, literally any female who you have or will or even may come into contact with and I'm going to make sure that every single one of them knows that you're a rapist." Shitty then quickly reached out and snatched the collar of Preston's shirt "And if I ever hear of you speaking to Larissa again, your family will never find your body."  
Preston, who at this point was as white as the tablecloth could only nod frantically. Shitty released his deathgrip on the collar, stood up straight, and without a single glance at another person made a beeline for Lardo.  
"Come on, we're gonna get you to the Haus," he said softly, holding one of her arms for balance and keeping the other on her back.  
He started leading her to his car, but Lardo pulled back.  
"What's wrong?" Shitty asked, glancing over her to make sure there was no sign of physical harm.  
"Gotta work on getting this out of my system," Lardo groaned, stopping to lean against a car and stick her fingers down her throat. After a brief moment she turned her head and vomited all over the front of the car. "Keep holding," Lardo said after she spit the taste out of her mouth. "I wanna get this fucker's door too."  
Shitty nodded and waited silently as Lardo threw up on Preston's door as well.  
"Okay," Lardo said after coughing for a bit. "Take me home"  
Shitty helped her into the passenger's seat and quietly closed the door after buckling her in. When he entered his side he twitched slightly, and then looked at her with guilt.  
"I'm sorry for not asking before but is it okay if I touch you right now?"  
Lardo remained silent but nodded, reaching out her hand which Shitty grabbed onto like it was a life vest and he was drowning.  
The ride home was mostly silent. Shitty interlaced their fingers and rubbed his thumb over hers until they reached the Haus.  
"I'll help you out," Shitty told her, pressing ever so lightly on her shoulder to make sure she waited for him. Lardo did wait, and Shitty came around the car to her side and opened the door for her.  
"Everyone's probably still up," he warned her, "But we're gonna walk directly to my room, okay?"  
Lardo shut her eyes and took a deep breath, "Okay" she breathed out, her eyes popping open with a look of determination.  
They walked through the front door together and were immediately greeted by Ransom and Holster.  
"Sup Shits, sup Lards," Ransom said.  
"Hey man," Lardo breezily replied. She couldn't stop to talk, but she was determined to remain calm in the presence of others.  
They passed the kitchen and Bitty waved while making what smelled like a cherry pie; if Lardo hasn't felt so nauesous right not she was pretty sure she would have called dibs on that pie.  
They went up the stairs and immediately into Shitty's room.  
"What do you need?" Shitty asked, after locking his door.  
"Shower, water, to get this fucking taste out of my mouth, something to help my stomach," Lardo rambled off everything she could think of, but for the most part her mind was blank. She figured she was either in shock or still not thinking right from the drug.  
"Ok, you go take a shower, I'll find you everything else," Shitty said, more to himself than Lardo.  
If she paid close attention she could see that Shitty was shaking ever so slightly; probably from the adrenaline.  
Lardo gave a quick thank you to any deities she could think of that Shitty had shared a bathroom with only Jack, so there wouldn't be an issue with her stealing it.  
Once she was under the hot spray she felt the weight of today fully hit her.  
"Fuck!" She yelled as loud as she trusted to without drawing attention. She was humiliated, betrayed, and angry at everything that Preston was making her feel. He shouldn't be able to make her feel anything, and yet here she is curled up on the floor of Shitty's shower, her tears coming out as quickly as the water washed them away.  
She held her shaking body tightly as hot water poured over her, and she imaged a black sludge leaving her body and swirling down the drain. She was going to be okay, she needed to be okay. Things could have been so much worse. Other people had it worse.  
"Ugh!" she yanked on her hair, she couldn't get his face out of her mind. He had sat there, right across from her talking about his most recent sketch session, just waiting for her to what? Look glassy eyed? Fall face first onto the table? Would he have asked her back to his place or just dragged her out by her leg?  
A soft knock sounded at the door. Lardo's head snapped up as her stomach plummeted. If she ignored whoever it was, eventually they'd go away.  
"It's me, I just wanted to let you know I have my room all set up for you whenever you're ready," Shitty's muffled voice said.  
"Be out in a minute," Lardo called back, standing up and turning off the water. She rung the water out of her hair and wrapped herself in a towel. She shuffled back into Shitty's room where she noticed he had attempted to clean up for her. There were still piles of clothes, books and fast food bags, but they were more consolidated now. His bed was made, albiet a bit rumpled, and he was sitting on the edge with a bottle of powerade for her.  
"I figured you would need something after you threw up," he said quietly, holding the bottle out.  
"Yeah," Lardo agreed, suddenly feeling how dry her throat was. Her fingers brushed his as she took the bottle and she felt that he was still shaking slightly.  
"Shits, I'm-"  
"Don't you dare say you're sorry."  
His voice was stern, going on angry but she knew he was trying hard to keep his emotions in check.  
"This is in no way your fault. All I want you to focus on is feeling better, ok?" he patted the bed. "Sit down and I'll get you something to sleep in."  
Lardo felt tears prick at her eyes but swallowed them down, and nodded as she sunk onto the worn out mattress.  
Shitty pulled out a clean pair of boxers and his shirt with the christmas tree smoking a joint, "This okay?" he asked, showing them to her.  
Lardo agreed and reached out for them, just as she was about to change, Shitty opened the door.  
"Dude!" she called out, making him jump and slam the door shut.  
He looked back at her in confusion and worry, "Whats wrong?"  
"Kinda don't feel like whatever rando is in the hall seeing me naked, if you don't mind," Lardo said, motioning to the door.  
"Fuck, shit, I'm sorry. I was trying to give you privacy and the timing was bad." Shitty locked his door and turned his back to her. "Go ahead, I'll guard the door,"  
Lardo dropped the towel and wiggled into the boxers Shitty had given her.  
"Dude, you've seen me naked, blindfolded, and bitch-ass shit faced, just cause some ass clown tried to get me naked today doesn't mean our relationship is gonna be any different," she said while pulling the shirt over her wet hair.  
"I was just worried it would kinda, trigger you I guess," Shitty sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'm here for you, Lards," he said, emphasizing the 'you'. "All I want is for you to feel comfortable."  
"I just need to be treated like normal right now. I don't wanna be coddled or babied or force people to walk on eggshells," Lardo said, clenching her fists in frustration. "I do not want this jackass to make people treat me differently."  
"I will do my best," Shitty said, holding up his right hand in a promising pose. "So is it cool if I sleep in the bed too?"  
Lardo nodded and adjusted the blankets so Shitty could slide in next to her.  
"I am gonna wear bottoms though," Shitty said, "Both for your sake and for my own comfort. I know you said be normal, but I feel like thats crossing a line."  
Lardo gave a short bark of a laugh and tucked herself into Shitty's side. She laid her head on his chest and listened to his heart beat, it was a bit fast, but still calming.  
"Wanna watch some Bob Ross?" Shitty mumbled after a few minutes of silence.  
"Sure," Lardo agreed, as Shitty temporarily messed up her position to grab his laptop. Once he had started an episode of The Joy of Painting he pulled Lardo to his chest again.  
They watched an episode where he painted a cabin in a forrest, and Lardo was beginning to feel sleepy when Shitty suddenly stiffened beside her.  
"Lards?"  
"Hm?" She asked, not bothering to open her eyes.  
"I would have killed him."  
Lardo lifted her head slowly to meet Shitty's green eyes.  
"I know, I know I shouldn't bring it up but I feel like it just really hit me you know? And had-" Shitty took a rattling breath "-had something happened, I would have killed him without a second thought. Fuck Lards, I can't think about it."  
Lardo tensed a bit as Shitty pulled her closer and held her tighter.  
"You're so fucking important, Larissa," he whispered, and Lardo could hear that he was crying.  
For a brief moment she considered steeling her emotions but then decided to fuck it all and threw herself onto Shitty's chest and sobbed.  
She cried for the fear and confusion she felt at the restaurant, for the humiliation of everyone knowing she had been drugged, for the helplessness she would have fallen victim to had it not been for Shitty, for all the girls who hadn't been as lucky.  
She cried until she fell asleep, with Shitty stroking her hair and telling her it was okay to cry and that he was there for her.  
She dreamt of the first time she met Shitty.  
_He was clowning around with the team on the ice, she was sitting on the bleachers, clipboard in hand, trying her best to blend into the background. The team was being loud and obnoxious, so she had assumed he was a typical frat bro and when he had smiled at her she barely resisted telling him to fuck off. He skated over to her, and her face heated up, steeling herself for the onslaught of sexual comments and then Shitty's face contorted in a look of terror._  
_"I'm so sorry for making you feel uncomfortable!" Shitty blurted out, making all his teammates stop and stare. "If there's anything I can do to fix it please let me know! If not, I promise to leave you alone!"_  
_Lardo had been so shocked she simply turned around and walked away._  
_The next practice she paid close attention to him when she thought he wasn't looking. When practice was over Shitty had nodded at her, and to her surprise she smiled. His green eyes lit up and he grinned. Even still he kept his distance for a while, until she approached him._  
_"I need to give you your uniform," she said, "You're B-"_  
_"Shitty-" he interrupted "- I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude but my first name isn't what I go by."_  
_"You go by Shitty instead?" Lardo asked._  
_He gave a sheepish grin, "Anything I can call you?"_  
_"My name's Larissa Duan," she said, walking towards the equipement room._  
_"Larissa... Larster? Nah. Lardo? Yeah, Lardo" Shitty followed her while talking to himself._  
_"Lardo?" she turned, glaring at him. "Lardo?" she asked again, motioning to her thin body. Hell if anything she needed to put on weight._  
_"Now you have a hockey nickname!" Shitty grinned. "Plus the irony is nice."_  
_"I don't need a nickname," she said, climbing up the ladder to get his equipment._  
_"Of course not, and if you don't like it, I promise to make sure the other guys don't use it. But I also worry you don't feel like part of the team. We're a family. And you're part of our family. I want to make sure you feel included," Shitty shrugged, holding out his hand for her as she passed him his gear._  
_"You're a confusing person," Lardo said, stepping off the ladder and peering at him._  
_"I'm a radical liberal who just happens to play hockey and live in a frat house," Shitty shrugged. "If you feel the need to put labels on things."_  
_Lardo considered this and then nodded. "I'm a painter who just happens to manage a hockey team."_  
_"That's amazing! I'd love to see your art sometime! If it's not too personal!" Shitty seemed genuinely interested and Lardo smiled softly._  
_"Maybe someday," she nodded._  
_The next practice everyone was calling her Lardo, or Lards, and as much as it embarassed her at first, she grew to love it. It did make her feel included._


	2. Chapter 2

She woke up the next morning wrapped in Shitty's arms, with a headache the size of Texas and a throat dryer than the Sahara. She looked around and found the powerade Shitty's had brought for her last night. As she untangled herself from Shitty's embrace, she felt him stir.  
"You okay?" Shitty mumbled, opening one eye.  
"Just thirsty, feeling kinda hung over, got any tylenol?" Lardo asked, taking a swing of the powerade and looking around the room.  
Shitty groaned and rolled out of bed, and shuffled to and from the bathroom, returning with a white bottle.  
"You wanna get up for the day or go back to bed?" he asked, rubbing his eyes and yawning after Lardo had popped two of the pills in her mouth.  
"What time is it?" she asked after she had swallowed the medication.  
Shitty leaned back and tapped his laptop keys a few times, "7:22."  
Lardo scrunched up her face, "Too early," they both said and got back under the covers.  
A little less than three hours later they woke up to the smell of pancakes and bacon.  
"Bro, brunch," Lardo said, lightly smacking Shitty's arm.  
"Fuck yes, Bittle. You god damn beautiful baker," Shitty moaned, rolling out of bed and stretching.  
They shuffled to the kitchen where most of the house had already gathered around the kitchen table amid plates of breakfast food.  
"Good morning!" Bitty said, looking at all the tired faces with a chuckle as he slid hashbrowns out of a frying pan onto a large serving plate.  
"Morning," most of the team said, making sure to be polite to the chef.  
"Shits, Lards, how come you guys didn't hang last night?" Ransom asked, his mouth already full of pancake and syrup.  
Shitty and Lardo shared a quick look with each other.  
"Didn't have a good night," Lardo shrugged, grabbing some bacon off of Shitty's plate.  
Ransom nodded, knowing when a subject should be dropped and started talking to Holster about a biology test he had coming up soon.  
Bitty came and placed a glass of orange juice by Lardo and gave her a hug as Jack nudged Shitty to get his attention.  
Jack raised his eyebrows to which Shitty just shook his head.  
With this the whole house was aware there had been a problem, it had been taken care of, and there was no need for bloodshed, so everyone moved on with their lives.  
Or at least tried to.  
Lardo did her best to fly under the radar for a while. She didn't go to any art parties, and Shitty made sure to take her to a movie or something if the Haus was feeling like being overly social.  
Which is why on a Friday night they were sitting in the middle of a movie theater watching Crimson Peak instead of being at a kegster with the rest of the team.  
Lardo had told Shitty it was okay, that she could either hang out in his room or go home if she felt too awkward. But Shitty had denied any such talk and after a brief search on his phone offered to take her to the movies.  
"Dude you don't have to do this," Lardo said for the third time. "You've gotta be going through some sort of party withdrawl by now.  
"Nah," Shitty said, grabbing a handful of popcorn from the bag they were sharing. "Besides, it's nice to soberly remember to lock my door so no one throws up in it."  
Lardo smiled to herself, remembering Shitty's epic rant when the infamous incident had happened.  
The movie started and Lardo was liking the cool ghosts and creepy vibe that the sister character was giving off. Then came the scene where the writer and her husband had sex while out on a trip together, the first time they had done it even though they had been married for a while. And Lardo felt her breath stop. Would she ever have that again? Not the sex, but the trust? The full trust in someone else to let them take her somewhere by herself and allow them to have her in a vulnerable state? As the panic in her throat seized up she heard Shitty mumble "nice ass".  
Her vision snapped back into focus and there was indeed a nice view of Tom Hiddleston's ass on the screen.  
She looked at Shitty in surprise. He had pulled her out of a moment of panic without even realizing it. He had saved her before. He took her out, just her and him all these times and she never felt worried or scared, in fact she had felt more comfortable than she normally did. She had cried herself to sleep curled up into him. She trusted him completely.  
He sensed he was being looked at and his bright green eyes met hers with a kind smile.  
"You okay? You sense the sister's gonna be pissed too?" he whispered, and she knew the wheels in his mind were already turning to figure out the plot, twists and all.  
Fuck it if her stomach didn't tighen at his voice.  
She had always gotten a bit of second hand embarassment from poems and lyrics that described falling in love as seeing someone for the first time, and yet here she was, dumbstruck by one of her best friends in the middle of a movie.  
"Lards?" Shitty went from casual to concerned quickly.  
"Sorry, yeah, she's probably gonna go super crazy," Lardo agreed, nodding as she turned back to the screen.  
Shitty hummed with her approval of his idea and reached over to gently touch Lardo's arm. He gave a small squeeze and Lardo felt herself smile.  
He always made her comfort his main concern. Even before they were best friends. Her mind drifted to the first night she knew he would always have a special place in her life.  
_It was her freshman fall break, and she was invited to her first Haus party. She wasn't sure what to expect, but Shitty coming out to greet her in nothing but American flag boxers and sunglasses wasn't it._  
_"Lardo! I'd like to hug you! Can I hug you?" he shouted in greeting._  
_"Uh, sure?" she said, stepping forward cautiously._  
_"Nah, not that I don't want to anymore, but I'm afraid that was too bold and assuming of me," Shitty gave a small smile. "I want to make sure you're comfortable here Lards. This is home."_  
_She followed him inside where the music was just below too loud and there were lots of people in various states of intoxication._  
_"We have beer, liquor, water, soda, or if you're feeling particularly brave, tub juice," Shitty explained._  
_"Tub juice?"_  
_Shitty grinned, "Ever had jungle juice? Just a fuck ton of various alcohols thrown together with some soda or juice or something? Now picture that in a bathtub."_  
_Lardo wrinkled her nose._  
_"We sanitize the fuck out of it for weeks beforehand," Shitty laughed after seeing her expression. "But I completely understand it's not for everyone."_  
_As they came across the beer pong table Lardo stopped to watch._  
_"You like to play?" Shitty asked._  
_"I'm pretty good," Lardo shrugged._  
_"You can be good at something but not always enjoy it," Shitty said. "But if you want to play and need a partner, I'd be more than happy to join you."_  
_When their turn came, Lardo sunk ball after ball, the Haus screaming and yelling with every cup she made someone drink._  
_"You're a goddess!" Shitty yelled over the music and cheers. "God I want to be your best friend!"_  
_Lardo laughed, the beer and excitement of the night was getting to her head. She threw her arms around Shitty's neck and hugged him, laughing "Best friends" she agreed as he hugged her back tightly._  
_After that they learned all they could about each other, texting when they were apart, sitting next to each other on away game trips. Shitty loved learning about her family and her art, and even though he wasn't too fond of his upbrining he opened up to her about his wealthy family and their pressure on him to succeed._  
He was a constant in her life from then on, and she understood now that she never wanted him to leave.  
"I love you," Lardo said.  
"I love you too," Shitty said with a smile.  
Dammit, he didn't get it, but Lardo figured now was not the time or place to do this and dropped the topic.  
After the movie ended Shitty asked her if she wanted to crash at the Haus or not.  
"Yeah, Bitty usually goes to town on baking on Saturdays and I wanna be there to drop hints about what I want," Lardo said.  
"Good idea," Shitty nodded.  
When they got back the Haus was in the decline of party mode. There was still a decent amount of people there but they were either super drunk or barely drunk. The music wasn't too loud and Ransom and Holster were flirting with some cute girls in the living room.  
"Hey ya'll!" Bitty called from the kitchen where he and Jack were sitting at the table.  
A quick look around confirmed that Bitty and Jack had been drinking alone together in the kitchen while the party was going. Lardo and Shitty exchanged an amused look.  
"Having fun you two?" Shitty asked, wagging his eyebrows at Bitty.  
"Shitty Knight don't you tease me or I will withold the baking tomorrow," Bitty flushed red, scooting his chair further away from Jack, but only by an inch or two.  
"Don't you ruin this for the rest of us," Lardo shook her head in a warning, and Shitty held up his hands in a defensive position.  
"I will see my way out," he said with a grin, "You two have a great night!"  
Lardo made sure she met both Jack and Bitty's eyes before she followed Shitty up to his room. She wanted them to know she approved.  
Shitty had waited for her at the top of the stairs.  
"It's about god damn time," he smiled, gesturing towards the kitchen. "I was afraid Bittle was never gonna make his move."  
"He was biding his time," Lardo shrugged, following Shitty into his room. "Seems smart to me."  
"It's tough though," Shitty said, tossing Lardo some pajamas, "Biding your time while making sure you don't come off as uninterested."  
Lardo's eyes flicked up and met Shitty's.  
"Shitty I-"  
"I'm sorry," Shitty sighed. "That was some super douchebag mansplaining that you don't need from me."  
Lardo pursed her lips. Part of her hated this game they played, while the other half thrived on it.  
Ever since her freshman year, after she took the job as the team's manager, her and Shitty had occasionally slept together, and she knew it couldn't continue this way forever.  
The first time they had slept together, amazingly, nothing had really changed. They still loved each other, were still best friends, and sex just happened to fit perfectly into their relationship.  
When she found out she would be spending a semester in Kenya, they spent a week sleeping together, taking breaks to eat and smoke and occasionally watching some TV with the rest of the Haus. He drove her to the airport and kissed her goodbye. They skyped as often as they could have, and she decided that when she got back she was going to ask him to be officially with her.  
After she got back from her trip, she slept in his room the first night. He held her tightly and murmered how much he had missed her, never doing more than kissing her cheeks or forehead. He had applied to Havard while she was gone, and she knew he would get in; he was brillant. But she was too scared to start something knowing that he would leave. So the sexual and romantic tension was constantly looming over their heads. Neither wanting to start something, but still having the memories of how it could be.  
Then she had gone out on that stupid date, and now she was too scared to even think of trying anything with anyone. She couldn't move on even if she wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I appreciate you!


	3. Chapter 3

Shitty had already gotten into bed and was setting up a side for her. She smiled softly and cuddled up next to him. She kissed his cheek and curled up on her side, feeling his arm slide over her to hold her.   
She closed her eyes, remembering their first time.  
 _The first time they had slept together, he had asked her so often if things were okay, he always wanted her to be comfortable. He loved her, hell sometimes he took better care of her than she took of herself. If there was anyone she wanted; it was him._  
 _She felt completely comfortable around him, she had introduced him to her roommate, they were inseperable, and she loved it._  
 _Then she was asked to do an art show, and everything she painted looked terrible in her eyes. She locked herself away in her studio, not eating, not sleeping, she barely even made a face anymore when she accidentally took a sip of paint water from her mug instead of her tea. At 3 am on March 23rd, she broke down. She threw her tea and paint water at the canvass, dropping to the floor and sobbing. She called Shitty and brokenly gave him directions to her studio._  
 _He burst in and immediately wrapped her in his arms. Holding her until the shaking stopped and she could breath normally again._  
 _"Larissa, I'm worried about you," he said quietly. "Please tell me, is there anything I can do to help?"_  
 _She looked up and met his eyes, she saw his worry, his devotion, his love for her, and she was overwhelmed. She leaned up and kissed him, feeling his warm mouth against hers. It was simple, just a brief touch of their lips before he gently pulled back._  
 _"I'm afraid you're not in the right state of mind for this. I don't want you to regret anything," he whispered._  
 _She slowly removed herself from his arms and went to lock the door._  
 _"I promise you, there is no one else I want here more," she said, returning to where he sat on the floor. She kneeled down by him, and gently touched his face. "I am clear headed in this moment, and I am asking you if you want this as much as I do."_  
 _His pupils were blown wide and she could feel the puffs of breath as he became more and more aroused. "Larissa," he croaked. "Fuck I do, I do, but I couldn't standing losing you. I would rather love you in silence for the rest of my life than lose you"_  
 _"You will not lose me," she promised, closing the gap between them once more. This time he kissed back. He groaned into her mouth, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into him. She lead, and he followed enthusiastically. The kiss escalated as she softly licked his bottom lip, and his moan allowed her enterence into his mouth._  
 _She dropped her head to his neck, licking and niping at the skin as she sat herself on his lap and rubbed herself against him._  
 _"Fuck," Shitty groaned, his breath hitching as he became more and more helpless against her._  
 _He ran his fingers through her hair and gently pulled on it, exposing her neck so he could suck on it._  
 _"Touch me," Lardo gasped, covering his hands with hers and moving them under her shirt onto her bare stomach._  
 _His warm, rough hands moved slowly up and down her sides, reaching back to effeciantly unclasp her bra. Their continuous kissing was broken for only a moment while she removed her shirt, and a moment of silence while he sat back and stared at her in wonder._  
 _"You're beautiful," he said, his voice low and heady._  
 _She blushed and kissed him harder than before, reaching down to feel his stiff erection through his pants._  
 _"I want you," she said between kisses, and he nodded frantically, sitting up and beginning to undo his belt._  
 _They fumbled with their clothing and when at last they were naked, kneeling on the ground in front of each other, they froze._  
 _"Lards, we can turn back, we don't have to do this," Shitty said, his expression one of genuine concern._  
 _Lardo shook her head and reached out, grabbing his arm and pulling him over to her. She lay back slowly on the ground, feeling the waves of body heat roll off of him as he followed her down._  
 _"Tell me if you want to stop at anytime. You are in complete control," Shitty promised, kissing her cheek and trailing kisses down till he reached her breasts._  
 _He took one nipple into his mouth, sucking on it while gently groping the other. Lardo's eyes squeezed shut and her head fell back. She let out a whimper and raised her hips slightly. She wanted more._  
 _Shitty switched his mouth to the other nipple, letting his right hand trail down until it was hovering just above her pelvis._  
 _"Shitty, please," Lardo gasped, bucking her hips up. "Please."_  
 _With one swift movement Shitty had a finger in her, curling it inside and making her squirm._  
 _"Fuck, yes," she groaned as he released her breast to focus purely on touching her. He added a second finger after a few moments, and she felt shivers run through her body with each pulse he made._  
 _"Shitty, I'm, I'm gonna-" she gasped, writhing on the floor, thrusting her hips up to meet his movements. Her walls clamped down around his fingers and her whole body tensed for a few seconds. Then she slumped back down to the floor._  
 _"God, that was - god," she couldn't think straight. She opened her eyes and saw his blurry form as her vision adjusted._  
 _He looked pleased, but she knew him well enough to know there was something behind the smile._  
 _"Can I go down on you?" he asked, his tongue darting out to lick his lips._  
 _Lardo's crossed her ankles, "I dunno, it usually makes me feel uncomforable," she admitted._  
 _"If you don't want me to, I won't," Shitty nodded, "Oral's tricky when the person giving doesn't really know what they're doing, but I promise you, this is my speciality."_  
 _Lardo giggled, uncrossing her ankles and nodding. "Okay, but I reserve the right to tell you to stop," she confirmed._  
 _"Always," Shitty agreed, scooting back and slowly spreading her legs._  
 _He kissed up her calves and rubbed up and down her legs, stopping and kissing her knees, thighs, anywhere he could before she could feel his warm breath on her._  
 _"Let me know how you feel," Shitty said before bringing his mouth down on her._  
 _Lardo gasped as his warm tongue swirled around her clit. Her hands immediately went into his hair as he sucked and licked excitedly. Occasionally when she tugged on his hair he would groan, and the vibrations from his mouth only made her pull his hair harder._  
 _He took no breaks, his mouth never leaving her, until her legs began to shake._  
 _"God you taste good," he groaned, removing his mouth so he could reinsert his finger._  
 _She barely had time to open her mouth before he was on her again, and between his tongue and fingers she stood no chance._  
 _"Fuck! Shitty! Oh my god!" her voice was getting higher and higher as the waves of pleasure racked her body. Her legs clamped down onto his head and she was grinding herself down onto his mouth. Her whole body shook and she cried out as she came. Shitty waited to stop until she had rode out her orgasm, and then sat back and wiped his mouth with a grin._  
 _"I cannot wait until you sit on my face," he said, causing her to flush red._  
 _"Shut up," she muttered, but couldn't hide her smile as he crawled over her._  
 _"Can I kiss you?" he asked._  
 _She nodded and he leaned down, she realized after a few moments why he had asked. She could faintly taste herself, it wasn't bad, but it was an odd sensation none the less._  
 _When he pulled back from the kiss, his green eyes were bright, "Do you want to keep going?"_  
 _Lardo suddenly felt horribly guilty, she had gotten off twice already and had done nothing for him. "Fuck Shits, I'm so sorry," she laughed nervously. "That was super selfish of me."_  
 _"I loved it!" Shitty corrected her. "Hell I'd be thrilled to do that all the time, returning the favor isn't necessary."_  
 _Lardo laughed and reached down to stroke him. "Well I definitely want to."_  
 _Shitty's eyes closed as she continued to fondle him, when she was satisfied with how hard he felt, she slowly led him down to her enterence._  
 _Shitty looked deep into her eyes and gently moved a piece of her hair back, "Ready?"_  
 _She nodded, and felt him slowly push inside of her. He was big, but not uncomfortable. She felt the familiar stretching feeling, and when he was fully in he let out a rattling breath and shuddered._  
 _"Good god Lards," he grunted, before he started moving at a slow rythem._  
 _She wrapped her arms around his neck and tilted her hips up to meet his. She could feel his breath hitting her skin as he leaned her head on her shoulder._  
 _Right as she was about to tell him to go faster, he increased his speed. Their harsh breathing and moans echoed throughout the room. She wrapped her legs around his waist and squeezed as she felt her orgasm coming._  
 _"Come for me, Larissa," Shitty groaned, his thrusts becoming harder, and she did. She tightened around him and scattered kisses over his shoulders after she had finished._  
 _"Shitty, fuck, I've come 3 times already," she panted._  
 _"I'm close," he panted, his rythem lost as he became erratic. Lardo whimpered as he went deeper and harder until finally, he shuddered over her, streaming curses as he came._  
 _He lay down next to her, and she tucked herself into his side as they caught their breath._  
 _"I'm clean," Shitty said softly, staring up at the popcorn ceiling. "I realize now this was kinda, uh, rushed. But I'm clean. I get tested every few months."_  
 _Lardo nodded, "Me too, and I'm on birth control," she added, feeling embarassed suddenly. He probably was freaking out at how reckless they had been._  
 _"I know, I've seen you take it at breakfast," he turned over to face her. "I need you to know that I care about you a ton. You're my best friend, and you hold all the power here. If you want nothing to change, it won't. I just need you to be honest with me."_  
 _She met his gaze and gave him a quick kiss, "How about we don't put a label on it yet?"_  
 _He smiled "That sounds good," he agreed._  
 _They fell asleep for a bit on the floor, and the next morning she painted one of her favorite murals. Deep reds, purples, and greens swirled at the bottom, curling in smoke spirals up towards the top where a light brown tree with green leaves was standing alone in the sun, impervious to the chaos below._  
Lardo jolted awake, someone had bumped into Shitty's door, she heard muffled laughter and a high pitched giggle.  
Shitty grumbled and pulled her closer to his chest.  
"S'ok," he said, "Probably Ransom or Holster."  
She nodded, closing her eyes again, but sleep wouldn't cooperate with her. In her boredom she acutely heard the party dying downstairs. She heard Jack in the adjoining bathroom, brushing his teeth. She heard the squeaking of a mattress and then  
"Oh god Justin!"  
Her eyes snapped open. Well, Ransom was sure getting laid right now.   
"Yes! Yes!"  
Lardo squirmed, she felt like she was intruding, but the girl was just so loud.  
Not to mention this wasn't helping her current state of sexual frustration after that dream. Pressed up against Shitty's warm chest, his arm over her, she could feel the muscle of his bicep and fuck it if the girl sounded even louder now.  
"Shitty," Lardo hissed in the darkness. "Shitty, wake up."  
Green eyes blinked drowzily at her, "Whats wrong?" he asked, his voice gravelly.   
"I am in love with you. Not like you're my best friend, I mean you are, but not like that. Not like I just am ridiculously attracted to you, which I also am. But actual in love with you," the words tumbled out of her mouth before she could formulate proper sentenes.   
He blinked slowly, and her stomach twisted as she waited for his response.  
"Lards, do you really not know?" he asked, managing to look both heartbroken and amused at the same time.   
"Know what?" she sat up, and he followed her lead.  
"There's never been anyone else since I met you," he said, rubbing his hand over his face, whether to wake up more or out of exasperation she didn't know. "I mean I've never exactly wanted to be with lots of partners, not that there's anything wrong with that, but ever since I got close to you, I've only wanted you."  
"But when I was gone-" Lardo felt her face flush, there was no way he was willing to wait for her the whole time.   
"Ask anyone, I spent more time skyping you than talking to most people here," he said, looking sheepish. "I couldn't focus on anyone else when I was missing you so much."  
"You never said anything!" Lardo was relieved that he felt the same way she did, but upset that he hadn't told her earlier. They could have had so much more.  
"Lards, I would never put pressure on you to do something. I told you that you held all the power, and I said I'd be fine loving you in silence for the rest of my life. I wasn't lying."  
Lardo felt tears welling up, he understood the love she was talking about because he felt it too. "Do you think we can make it work? With you being at Harvard?"  
"We made Kenya work. We can do anything. I'd do anything for you, Larissa."  
She flung herself onto him, pressing her lips to his. Fear be damned she was going to make this work.   
"Lards, babe," Shitty said between kisses, "You don't have to do this, I believe you."  
She pulled back and locked eyes with him, "I know, I want to."  
Shitty nodded and gently pulled her so she was on his lap, keeping his hands on her hips. She ran her hands up and down his arms, making sure to memorize each dip and rise in muscle. He smelled vaguely of spice and head & shoulders, and she lay her head on his shoulder and just breathed for a bit.  
Shitty had moved his hands from her waist to her back, tracing light patterns and shapes on her skin. The soft touches, the warm room, everything about this moment was intoxicating. Part of Lardo wanted to ruin it, with harsh biting kisses and rough sex, but another part of her wanted to keep it this way, to see if it was possible for her to love like this.  
"This is new to me," Lardo whispered against his neck. "This is different than before."  
"Want me to take the lead?" Shitty asked, and she could hear the amusement in his voice. She nodded, waiting as he tilted her head up to face him.  
He kissed both her cheeks, then her neck, and placed a small kiss on her right ear.   
"I love you too," he murmed, and she felt boneless. He supported her as she slumped into him, running his fingers through her hair, starting a cascade of shivers through her. He kissed her deeply, her stomach felt like it was doing flips, it was somehow too much and not enough.  
She wanted to get closer, feel more of him pressed against her. She rolled her hips and pressed her chest to his, eliciting a low moan from him. She felt the rush of power that she craved, knowing she could affect him like this. His flushed face, his pupils wide, his breathing was harsh and erratic. He looked at her with a mixture of love and wonder, like it was humbling to be in her presence.   
Her skin felt much too warm, the fabric of his shirt was too heavy, so she wiggled out of it.  
"Damn," Shitty said, his eyes roaming over her, drinking her in.   
Lardo felt embarassed, there was no way he could love her this much. There was no way anyone could love her this much.  
"Lards?" Shitty had leaned forward, cupping one side of her face gently, "You okay?"  
"This just feels, surreal," she said, her eyes darting downward.  
"Yeah it does for me too," Shitty confessed, "I mean, I'm really glad, don't get me wrong. I just didn't want to expect anything, you know?"  
Lardo understood perfectly, "I just can't believe you feel this way about me,"  
Shitty furrowed his brow, "What?" he laughed. "If anyone it's me who's surprised."  
Lardo realized she just needed to believe that Shitty felt for her, what she felt for him.   
"I appreciate you," she said quietly, kissing him on the cheek.  
"I'm glad, I appreciate you too," Shitty smiled, laying back down and patting the spot beside him. "Come on, tonight's been wonderful, lets not push our luck for anything more."  
She nodded and lay down beside him. He was right, tonight wasn't the night, but as she closed her eyes she was content knowing that she wouldn't have to worry about trusting anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for making it to the end! I hope you enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I appreciate all of you!


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